The One Year Mark

PCNam Group 36 is officially at the one year mark.  A year ago yesterday each one of us said goodbye to loved ones, our homes, and a country of comfort and familiarity.  For most of the group, but not all, tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of our first day on the continent of Africa.  I hate to use the phrase I think every volunteer has used to describe their Peace Corps service, but there’s no other way to say it… it really is hard to believe that a whole year has gone by.  The year has flown by, but if I look at how much I've had the opportunity to do I wonder how I was able to fit it all in.

 

Most of Group 36 just after arriving at JFK

Made it to Windhoek!

Like it was yesterday, I remember having one last chat with my dad on his porch in the dark at 4:00AM, the drive to the airport, the tears that were shared saying goodbye just before I went through security.  I remember my ride from the Philly airport to the hotel for staging, meeting everyone for the first time, doing the skits and activities in staging and going over our hopes and fears, having my last meal in America at Chipotle, running to Target for last minute things (the watch I got has treated me very well), cramming in as many last minute phone/skype calls as I could, having a lovely conversation that lasted hours into the night with a roommate I had just met that afternoon, taking a long hot shower not knowing if I would have one for the next two years, riding the bus from Philly to JFK, waiting for hours for the airport to officially open, watching movies on the plane (They included Shawshank Redemption, The Hunger Games, and 21 Jump Street…  How I remember that is beyond me!), arriving and sitting around at the Jo’burg airport, getting off the plane in Nam, going through immigrations, seeing my first warthog on our way to the training site, and so on and so forth.  I could probably go on for pages and pages, but the one thing I’m the most happy about is that I remember the people that I was with and got to know along the way during those first couple days of uncertainty… Ethan was the first group 36er I met in the van ride from the airport to the hotel, Chris was by me when we were handing in papers and receiving our government issued passports, Elisabeth was my roommate at staging, I went with Lindsay to Target, Janine sat with me on the bus from Philly to JFK, Mariah and I hung out that morning until JFK officially opened, I walked on the plane with Tim and Lindsey, sat with Amanda on the 15 hour flight, apparently fell asleep in a really funny position on the plane from Jo’burg to WHK next to Sam, roomed with Sachi and Daphne at Kukuri…  Again I’m sure I could go on for pages and pages.  All of those moments, while they may seem trivial to the reader back home, were the beginning of a seemingly long journey that has ended up going faster than I was ever prepared for.

A good friend of mine pointed out the uniqueness of the connections we have with fellow group members.  She commented on how the bonds we make during our time here are slightly odd and uncharacteristic from those that we are used to back home.  Here, strong relationships are made with people you spend only two months of training with and then SMS the next three until you can see them again because phone calls are simply too expensive.  Through these friendships, at this point in our service, I’m finding it very interesting to hear how different everyone’s thoughts are on their experiences at site and in Namibia.  Apparently it’s typical for a volunteer at this stage to start critically assessing their professional and personal accomplishments, or what many consider at this time in service, lack thereof.  The assessments usually reflect on what one has or hasn’t done, what one came in thinking they would do and how much of that didn’t happen, how integrated one feels, and so much more.

When I go through these questions about my own time here I feel inadequate.  I’ve been here a year and what do I have to show for it?  What have I done to help my community and specifically the local business owners?  How much have I integrated?  How much of the local language do I know?  Not nearly enough for my standards, but my standards stem from an American upbringing.  It’s important to remember that we are in a different country even though we are now used to shopping at the local shop, eating (and, for some, starting to cook) the local food, greeting with the local greetings, etc.  To hear my friends go through questions like these with me and discuss what they are thinking about for their future (in Namibia or at home) and what feelings and emotions they are going through just makes the fact that, no site and no person is the same, more and more apparent to me.  I have great respect for each volunteer I’ve gotten to know here because of the many struggles they are having to go through.  Many of us struggle with missing events back home (like funerals, holidays, birthdays, or weddings), feeling like we’re not doing enough, worrying that we don’t have the appropriate expertise for what we are being asked to do, not feeling that our work is sustainable, feeling like we are just filling a position that doesn’t allow time for development work we are supposed to do, worrying that due to culture we cannot change things that we want to change most (like corporal punishment), or that we don’t have time to have the cultural exchanges that we’d like to with local friends.   Another struggle I didn’t originally give much weight to is the thought of people going home.  When you hear that a fellow volunteer, who has now become one of your closest friends, is being sent home due to a Med or Admin Sep (Medical or Administrative Separation) or they are ETing (Early Terminating – when a PCV decides to end their service early) or even just considering it, that can really have an impact on you.  Each volunteer is affected by these things on varying levels.  Some experience all of them while some only experience a few, but none the less we all go through struggles while serving and I find it nice to know we’re not alone.

I am extremely privileged to have met so many dedicated, kind natured, and caring people who feel so strongly about making a difference in the world.  Their friendship alone has motivated me to want more for my community.  I came here thinking I could change a community, but that it would be ok if I really only affected one person.  What I’ve learned in the last year is that that’s not the case anymore.  Understandably, some people get discouraged by this point in their service because of so many failed attempts at having sessions or working with individuals or increasing learner marks, but I think those things and my friendships have only motivated me more.  I want to make a sustainable difference.  I’m not sure how I will do it, but I intend to try my hardest during the last year of my service.  I have grown to love my community.  It is officially my home… I want to contribute to it and that’s that.